1.30.2012

Monday

This Rofl is brought to you by the prestigious Britt Linde. Bless you.

An official memo to Britt from the home owners osyation.



For future memos, I submit to these classy individuals the following check list to assure that they avoid these minor errors.

1. Proper stationary - I.e. Anything is better than a napkin
2. Don't call people morons...especially if you can't spell.
3. If you wrote a swear at the bottom of the note, vaguely crossing it out doesn't make it ok.

Sincerely,

Your Naybers

1.29.2012

Friday

Over 15 people have mentioned that Wednesday's blog post reminded them of this little clip...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTb_pwUnR74&feature=fvsr

So I take snow fights seriously...big deal.

1.26.2012

Wednesday


Yesterday a friend and I were caught up in the particularly joyous activity of bombarding each other with winters faithful companion: snow. After she hit me in the face while I was talking on the phone, I decided to demonstrate my superiority and dominance in size and speed by wrestling her to the ground and throwing snow all over her face. (Somehow I reigned in the desire to white wash her...as we are soon to learn, compassion is rarely rewarded.)

Clearly the victor, I released her from those icy bonds and we jumped in the car on our way to my old job. I needed to speak with my HR rep about working for the next 2 months. About 20 minutes after the interview, the following rofl takes place.

Alex is pointing and me and holding her gut laughing.

Dan: What's your deal?

Alex: I'm sorry...You've begun lactating.




Snow slipped stealthily into front pocket = clever way to make to make all of your friends think you have developed a new ability. Alex : 1, Dan : 0

1.20.2012

Monday

I love YouTube. Try saying that next time your girl\boyfriend tells you they love you before you are ready. Guaranteed to help you avoid sticky situations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOfy5LDpEHo

Eat Ice Cream.

Friday...

Jake: "Hey reed can I pleeeease wear your shirt tonight!!"

Reed: "Sure. Where are you going?"

Jake: "Blind date."

Reed: "If she is blind, it shouldn't matter what you look like man."


1.19.2012

Thursday

Dear Witch of Provo,

Last time I studied wizarding codes, you aren't allowed to wear your robes around muggles. They get suspicious. And if you aren't a witch/wizard....

....nobody likes a poser.


1.15.2012

Sunday


Dear Mr. Shirley, (aka kayaking, cooking, oil painting connoisseur)

We know how excited you were to see Alex in his dashing purple lavender shirt. As you suggested, Alex just needed to "do the outfit right." Enjoy your much solicited picture.

-Rad man Alex


Saturday

Reed: You know when you hold down on your apps on the Iphone?

Dan: Yeah...

Reed: They all start to tremble like you are going to kill them by pushing the little x. They look so frightened.

-Later that day-

Reed: Its like on toy story when they find out there is a garage sale.







1.13.2012

Thursday

Go watch this youtube video. While watching, please appreciate the bearded, beanie wearing man to the far right. He has provided today's rofl. Thank you emo lumberjack man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M

1.11.2012

Wednesday

My little brother works for a call center that serves multiple dating websites. The other day he sent me this picture. This is a real profile picture as well as the description she posted underneath. Thanks Jake for this little gem.


(This picture was deleted because his job was on the line...Will be returned once he quits.)


"damn I luv da chicken!!!!"



I don't know how many laws he/we are breaking in providing this. Sooo eat it up.. She did.

Tuesday

A gymnasium full of girls participating in a beginners kick boxing class. Ahh the beauty of synchronization.




Dan: I wonder what their motivation is.

Neal: They are learning how to fight.

Dan: "Come on ladies! Roundhouse kick! Your attacker is now on his back!...

...laughing."


Monday

  • My roommate was messaged yesterday by a Mr. Shirley. The following conversation ensued. Keep in mind, he was a complete stranger.


    Shirley
    • hi rad man

    • i am mormon in sacramento california

  • 55 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • what's up, man?

  • Brandon Shirley
    55 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • rad

    • are you mormon?

  • 55 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • yessir

  • Brandon Shirley
    55 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • I kayak, cook, oil paint

    • what do you do

  • 54 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • wow! i go to school... that's about it. pretty boring, huh?

  • Brandon Shirley
    54 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • nope

    • your getting smart for a better future for you

    • ok

  • 53 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • yeah. that's how I like to look at it.

  • Brandon Shirley
    53 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • awesome

    • i am in the sunday school pres

    • at church

    • whats your calling

  • 52 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • cool. I know some Jensens and Seavers, and Cains, and Talls from Sacramento, do you know anyone with those last names?

    • I'm an elders quorum teacher

  • Brandon Shirley
    52 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • jensen but she is 80

    • do you wear white or color shirt to church or both?

    • i went to Iowa on a mission

  • 51 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • just white. I went to Brazil.

  • Brandon Shirley
    51 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • cool beans

    • why never wear color to church?

  • 49 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • I don't know. an old lady once told me that when it comes to shirts for priesthood holders, white is right....

    • it makes dressing easier.

  • Brandon Shirley
    49 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • but have you ever thought to wear color?

  • 48 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • nah

  • Brandon Shirley
    48 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • will you wear one once to see if you like it?

    • hi

    • hi

  • 46 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • can I wear white pants?

  • Brandon Shirley
    46 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • do you have white pants

    • that are not temple pants

    • do the outfit right please

  • 45 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • no, but I also don't have colored shirts...

  • Brandon Shirley
    44 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • do your roomates have color shirts?

    • you can barrow a shirt

    • rad you

  • 43 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • I'm way fatter than all of them.

  • Brandon Shirley
    43 minutes ago

    Shirley
    • do they wear color shirts to church?

  • 42 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • all the time

  • Brandon Shirley
    42 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • really can you try to wear one of there dress shrits to church

    • so they do not wear wh ite?

  • 41 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • they can do both. it's really impressive.

  • Brandon Shirley
    41 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • do it with them

  • 40 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • I ain't going to cramp on their style!

  • Brandon Shirley
    40 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • what roomate do you think you might fit into there shirt?

    • you would not cramp their style if you wear your own tie and slacks

  • 39 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • His name is Dan. he's pretty wild: colored shirts all the time!

  • Brandon Shirley
    39 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • is he home?

  • 39 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • good poingt

    • out partying... probably wearing a colored shirt, I bet.

  • Brandon Shirley
    38 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • would he know if you try one of his shirts on right now?

    • then put it back very soon

  • 37 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • you know what, I'm going to do that right now!

  • Brandon Shirley
    37 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • ok

  • 36 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • it fits great!!! I think you've made a believer out of me!

    • well done.

    • write that in your journal!

  • Brandon Shirley
    36 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • what color?

  • 36 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • it's blue with grey stripes

  • Brandon Shirley
    36 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • would he let you wear it to church?

  • 36 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • and there's a little pink in there

    • I'll ask him as soon as he gets back

  • Brandon Shirley
    35 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • is that the shirt you like of his?

    • to wear to church?

  • 34 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • I only tried one. there's another one in there that's grey ... does grey count as a color?

  • Brandon Shirley
    34 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • yes

    • any others?

  • 33 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • one's purple... but I don't know how I feel about purple... what do you think about purple?

  • Brandon Shirley
    33 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • love it have one

    • try it on

    • ?

    • hi

  • 30 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • oh man! this one is even better!

    • it fits so great!

  • Brandon Shirley
    30 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • is he going to be home soon?

    • what shade of purple?

  • 29 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • he just pulled up. hold on

    • it's more lavender, really.

  • Brandon Shirley
    29 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • ok nice

  • 28 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • He said I couldn't.... and he told me never to snoop through his closet again...

    • I'll have to buy my own I think

  • Brandon Shirley
    27 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • sorry to h ear that

    • wish he would let you do it

  • 27 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • yeah. he's not mormon

    • me too.

  • Brandon Shirley
    27 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • tell hm you would do something for him?

    • get shirt before sunday?

  • 26 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • do you have anything in mind? what do jerks like?

  • Brandon Shirley
    26 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • are all roomates not mormon?

    • you know him not me

    • ask him what you can do for him

  • 24 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • good point! no just two of them I have a mormon roommate, but he doesn't have any colored shirts either.

  • Brandon Shirley
    24 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • if you do some thing for him would let you wear shirt?

  • 23 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • he likes cupcakes. he said if I make him some chocolate cupcakes he'd let me.

    • I'm going to do it!

  • Brandon Shirley
    23 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • what shirt do you want to wear of his sunday?

  • 22 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • the purple one

  • Brandon Shirley
    22 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • try it on now with a tie and slacks ?

    • then send picture?

  • 21 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • I don't have a camera...

  • Brandon Shirley
    21 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • how about on your phone?

  • 21 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • super old-school.

  • Brandon Shirley
    21 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • ok

  • 21 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • no camera

  • Brandon Shirley
    20 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • then how do i see it

    • ?

  • 19 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • I don't know!

  • Brandon Shirley
    19 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • try full outfit on tonight?

  • 19 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • ah oh. gotta go. see ya, man!

  • Brandon Shirley
    19 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • wear it sunday?

    • to church?

  • 18 minutes ago
    Alex Hale
    • fo' shizzle

  • Brandon Shirley
    18 minutes ago
    Shirley
    • have someone take picture ok




      Thank you Alex Hale for your contribution to todays rofl.